Never in high school did I think that I would be where I am right now in college. First semester I did 16 credit hours. Had Intro to College, Intro to Business, Into To Visual BASIC Programming, Programming Logic, Microcomp Software Apps, and Intro to Photoshop. All easy classes for me. Visual BASIC and Intro to Business was really the only thing that I hadn't learned before.

I got A's in all classes except Intro to College. Got a C in that. That's a tough class though. It's almost pointless. I'm glad that I actually passed it though. Most people say how they'll drop it or fail it. I've had someone who said they dropped the class 4 times because they couldn't do it.

This semester I was originally taking 18 credit hours doing College Algebra, English Composition I, Oracle, SQL & Database Design, Adv Photoshop CS & Illustrator, Flash, and Web Devl Tools - Drmwvr/GoLive. Shouldn't have any problem in Math. English was never my strong point so I might have a bit of trouble in there. But anything with computers I pick up rather quickly so those really don't bother me at all.

I really like my English teacher. She's more of a discussion teacher rather than sit and lecture. Sit and lecture is a pain. I like my English because I can actually participate. And there's no tests as long as the class does the reading and discusses it in class. Not a problem. :)

After going through all my classes once, I decided to do something entirely crazy and add another class: Intro to Java Programming. Now I just had one problem. You're only allowed to take 19 total credit hours and Intro to Java Programming is worth 3. So how do I get in the class? I met with the dean of students at my school and after seeing my grades first semester, she decided that me taking 21 credit hours wouldn't be a problem.

But really...I never thought I would be able to see myself as the student that everyone always told me I was. So intelligent; just needs to apply herself. I guess all I really needed to do was apply myself. And now...I'm really enjoying school and I look forward to every class everyday.

I've been listening to this song so much but it's somehow so awesome. Just the hate and behind it is awesome. The spitefulness is just so...cool. The song just kind of pumps me up. It's called "Gives You Hell" by The All-American Rejects.

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I wake up every evening, with a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place

And your still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace
I wonder how bad that tastes

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell

Now wheres you picket fence love
And wheres that shiny car,
And did it ever get you far

You've never seem so tense love
I've never seen you fall so hard,
Do you know where you are

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, your just as well, hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where'd it all go wrong, the list goes on and on

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, your just as well, hope it gives you hell

Now you'll never see, what you've done to me
You can take back your memories they're no good to me
And here's all your lies,
You can look me in my eyes
With that sad sad look that you wear so well

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, your just as well, hope it gives you hell

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song and sing along oh you'll never tell
Then you're the fool, I'm just as well
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell
You can sing along I hope that it will treat you well

Anyone you ever care for will either end up betraying you or dying.

Nowadays, I never have a problem blocking out people I use to call friends for the rest of my life. If they betray me, I move on with them no long in my life. Life seems a lot simpler that way to me. If you morn over someone who betrayed you, what's the point really? Why keep those around that are only to stab you in the back?

I often wonder where all the good people have gone. How could our world change into something so horrible? Girls who sleep around with no morals, guys who treat girls like they're some kind of toy, girls who use guys for whatever they have to give, and all those people who lie, cheat, steal, and just do horrible things to their own friends for self gain. Very few people have I found who I can still trust and keep around.

Maybe I'm just out of date but if I am, this is a horrible era I live in. People who say they care, use you for self gain and selfish acts that only hurt. How is that caring? Is that was friendship is now? I always saw it as the companionship of another who would help you in times of need because they care about you. Now all I ever hear is people stabbing each other in the back.

No one has anymore morals. They'll sleep around for the hell of it or even worse: because they think they'll get respect out of it and their partners will be more willing to do whatever they want. People manipulating others. What is it all coming to?

People who think that some natural cause is going to end the world is wrong. In my opinion, it won't be like the dinosaurs or any natural cause. What will end the world is people's greed, selfishness, cold hearted-ness, and their pursuit or nothing but self gain. It sickens me so. One day, all the good people will be gone and that's when it all will end. People get worse and worse day by day and they never seem to change back. It's happening slowly but it will be complete one day.

I was working in Photoshop on some Photos taken at my friend Ashley's birthday party and I decided the Select can was too plain so I decided to add....myself! lol

As far as I THINK, it's more about a person who has loved and the lover died on them than their lover leaving them. It could probably still go both ways though. Either way, it's a great song to me.

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
And ill come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still

And what you did you did with feeling
And You always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will

Ooo's

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I heard it last night on American Music Awards. I know it's not one of her big hits but I just thought it was a really good song. It's kind of ironic that in this song she talks about not being a princess and in "Love Story" she talks about being a princess. All and all. I really like it. I guess it somewhat applies to me.

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Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known

[Chorus]
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn't wanna be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know

[Chorus]
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm sooo sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late
To catch me now

Wish me luck. I got a job interview Friday at 1. It's at none other than Best Buy. lol. Nice huh? If I get the job, I basically get paid to walk around and talk to people. I'm very good at talking. Then I applied for like the music section so if I get that, I'll love it.

Made me happy knowing you still care enough to send me a message on MSN knowing I'm not there just to tell me what's up and why you haven't been around.

I really missed you, you know!! <3

Seriously, he's going to be the next Tyger Woods or something. Today in Colorado, we were at this Fire Fighters' convention and they had a virtual golf tournament. You hit the ball against a screen and try to get it closest to the hole. What they did was take the top 13 hitters and then had them compete against each other to see who could get it closest to the hole.

My brother got it 9'9" to the hole I think and won out of all those other 12 people. And I mean everyone was amazed because here this boy is 16 years old and he's beating guys who are like 30-40+ years old.

Because my brother won out of them, he got the chance to win $10,000. He got one shot and one chance to get a hole-in-one to win $10,000. He didn't do it. He got 9'5" of the hole. Kind of pisses me off that they didn't give him anything just for being the best out of everyone who tried the damn thing.

Tyler is just so awesome though! I mean he's even gotten a hole-in-one on a Par 4 hole before. His name was in a few paper's and everything. I'm just so proud of him!!

It's great but I miss my friends in Hillsboro but at the same time, it's great to get away from Hillsboro just for a little while. It's a lot of fun here. So far we've gone into the Mountains and to the top of Mt...umm...Edna I think. I'll ask my parents when they wake up. I took tons of pictures on the way up and at the top. I think they turned out so beautiful.

( See A Few Mountain Pictures )

There's a lot more pictures than that. Aren't the mountains just beautiful? And then we got to see a few long horned sheep as well or whatever they're called. Never seen them in the wild before.

We also went white water rafting where I got to jump of a 30ft cliff into the water. Omg, that was scary as hell. I still can't believe I actually did it when it Mexico, it took me about 5 of my bro's jumps to even think about jumping off a 12ft cliff into the water. It's amazing I did that too. But 30ft. I guess I could only do it because I didn't look down. I do have a HUGE fear of heights though so I guess something like that was a huge achievement for me.

During the white water rafting we also had a few water fights. The instructors kept picking on me. Our instructor, Nick, even dumped a bucket of water on my lap and some what on the rest of me before we even started the rafting while we was explaining how there were water fights. So I got him back...good. lol. I put a lot of water in the bucket, and when he didn't even expect it, I threw it on him while we were at the resting point and the 30ft cliff. Yeah, it was funny. Then I did it two more times before we left the 30ft cliff. One I actually got to dump on his head. lol.

All and all, it's been a lot of fun. We also went to the Zoo but I don't have the pictures for that uploaded to the internet yet but I will soon.

What I also have been enjoying is the dinners. I love dining at nice restaurants. Tonight it was one of those restaurants where they have $101 wine and anything you eat for a main course won't be below $25. And that's just the main course. lol. I got to dress up all nice though in a new dress I bought that day and everything.

Tomorrow we're probably going to go to the Aquarium where I'm going to take even more pictures. Damn do I love taking pictures. Just hope they turn out alright with the glass of the aquarium and all. Really can't wait.

Oh, I also forgot to mention that there was suppose to be a party thing for 21+ year olds to play Guitar Hero. Well, I got in. It really wasn't that hard. Not too many people over 21 really play Guitar Hero from what I know. But I got to get all dressed up for that too to try to make myself look older just in case. I think they probably did think I was 21 seeing as they just let me on in without asking me age but meh. Anyways, I kicked everyone's ass...except when they got to play on Medium and I played on Expert. I would still kick ass sometimes but I wouldn't always be able to maintain the x4 that they could.

Can't wait to see what we do tomorrow and Saturday but still can't wait to go home Sunday. I was just thinking yesterday about how lucky of a person I really am. I get to go to all of these beautiful places: Mexico, Florida, Colorado, and next summer, Hawaii. I guess I just never thought anything of it though until now. But yesterday I was just like "wow, I am really lucky." I still want to take someone with me one day though. Would be more fun than just me and my brother.

My best friend Kaje is now officially engaged to her boyfriend Caleb and I either get to be a bride's maid or the maid of honor. I'll get to be the maid of honor if her sister doesn't stop being a bitch. She's really against Kaje getting married and isn't supporting her one bit.

I really can't wait though. I'm so happy for her to find someone she loves and wants to be with for the rest of her life. I was just thinking about it today and how exciting it will be to actually be in a wedding instead of just watching it. I forgot the date she told me when they wanted to get married though. But when the date comes, I'm going to do everything with her; go shopping for the dress; help pick out the bride's maid's dresses; help plan like...everything. It will be so much fun and I'm sure she'll need the help and I know how happy it will make her.

I'm even going to assign one person to take tons and tons of pictures. lol. Damn...Kaje is so lucky.

Really excited. I got something here that could really look good on a resume in the future. Fox2 News is looking for a new intern to help run their website. My teacher from college, Ms. Boyer, called my mom about it but I was sleeping at the time. What is kind of upsetting though is that I've tried to call her back and never got an answer and she has never called me back.

So I guess I'm going to try and email her. She already talked to the lady who was looking for an intern and said that one of her students who won state in Skills USA for website might be interested and I am. I just need a way to get a hold on the lady looking for an intern.

I really don't care if it's just getting coffee and donuts for everyone. It's an easy way to get something good on a resume. So hopefully I'll get to apply and get the internship. :3

I thought that everyone had to see this, so I'm posting it in my livejournal. Sorry if you've already seen it but this is my first hearing of it.

Phil talked me out of it...again. He's the reason last time why I didn't apply for the job. Now he's the reason again. Damn asshole. He said he's going to need help in Chemistry. I don't remember if he said he's trying a Math though but if he is, I'm sure he's going to want help in that as well.

So...I have to stick around to keep him passing school. I may still feel like there's really nothing let for me here but I don't think I can just abandon a friend. Not something I can bring myself to do I suppose.

My friends will forever and always right now be most important in my life. I feel the sense to stick by them through thick and thin.

Here's a new poem that I just came up with the other night. I been actually writing a lot lately. Not on livejournal but in my notebooks. My mom bought me 6 of them because she knows how much I write all the time. Generally, I'll write how I'm feeling or what's on my mind or what just happened that day, but I will also write short stories or poems, or songs although I haven't really finished a song since my Freshman year of high school. Just parts of them, which is why none have ever been posted.

Not Your Face

It's not your face
It's not the same
When I look into his eyes
It's just an empty stare
Feeling nothing in my hearts
Not the slightest spark
So what do I do now?
Keep pretending to make it work?
While my heart is only yours
Your face engraved in my mind
No other one will do
The lips I loved to kiss
Oh how it made my world go 'round
The most genital tough of your hands
I still remember on my back
Maybe one day your face will fade
And my thoughts will be free
But right now it's not your face
It will never feel right
When he'll hold me
And kiss me good night
As I drift off
Into the only time
When I am happy
Where I look into your eyes
And see your face

I wish I could figure out what's wrong with me. If I could figure that out, maybe I can fix it. There has to be something wrong with me. I try to figure out it I'm just crazy. If I got something wrong in my brain. Why else would I be tripping over this guy? Life sucks like that I guess...

Been going through some hard times so I'm doing something drastic that I hope will pay off. I've noticed that this place around me just doesn't seem right for me. I thought it best I get away from this place. So I decided that I'm going to apply for the Web/Graphic Designing job for Facebook and hopefully get it so I can move to California.

After seeing friends I had here at first, I couldn't do it. But now that Facebook has advertised that they're still looking for that position and after the things I've been through, I thought it best that I at least try.

I don't know exactly what I'm going to do about College because this a full-time job but I'll manage if I get the job. I always do somehow. So everyone wish me luck on leaving this place and getting a better life somewhere else.

First off...I'd like to say this never would've been accomplished if it wasn't for the help of YopY. No, I don't know his real name. lol

Anyways, I've been working on it some more. But if you check the boxes and all that and press submit, it'll display the code needed to accomplish what you checked. All you have to do is copy and paste that code anywhere in your About Me section.

If you want to try it out to see if it really works like from my tests, I believe it does:

Myspace Layout Tweaking Generator

I know it doesn't look very impressive right now but I'm still working a lot of the kinks out and wanting to expand the code options. I also need to add the "Email Me" page but that should be ready by tomorrow. =3

This song is basically about a couple. One person hurt the other and now the second person wants revenge. That's my opinion at least. If you look at the main chores it says stuff about looking before you end it all and in the last line it says "I will show you what it's like." To me, that last line kind of tells me that they want revenge.

Then there are also other lines in the verses like "I'll wipe away your painted wings," which tells me that she's basically a fake and he's basically clipping her of her angel wings. It's very hard for me to explain I guess.

I know Hermes that you thought it was talking about not ending a relationship but after reading a lot of it...I really think it's about revenge. And I'm alright with that. I need a song about revenge for once...

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If I could find the time to speak
I'd try to find a thousands way to prove you wrong
Falling on my face
I'm chasing all the lines of your skin
And all your perowet mistakes
So dance until your brand new
Ignore the fight inside that scares you

Look before you end it all
Look before you shut your eyes
For the last time
Theres no more room to go back down
Your picture trends in black and white
(I will show you)
I will show you what it's like

Let them say all that they want
I'll wipe away your painted wings
Til your heroes come
If you doubt it'll look so new
Then the venom in your eyes will control you

Well I hate pouring my heart out
When it's fading fast
And streaming down your leg

Look before you end it all
Look before you shut your eyes
For the last time
Theres no more room to go back down
Your picture trends in black and white
(I will show you)
I will show you what it's like

She whispers in his ear (Don't hurt me)
Don't hurt me, (Don't forget me) don't forget me
Don't hurt me, (Let me just say don't hurt me, don't forget me)
I'm still not properly together

Look before you end it all
Look before you shut your eyes
For the last time
Theres no more room to go back down
Will you fight for me and not back down
Your picture trends in black and white
(I will show you)
I will show you what it's like

(If you let me me)
Your picture trends in black and white (that we painted)
(I will show you)
I will show you what it's like

[Instrumental Break]

I am right there and i am waiting
I can see you but you can't see me [16x]

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